Thoughts on Peaceful Transitions
We live in a volatile, uncertain and complex time. Advocating for the violent overthrow of an election and interfering in the work of Congress by armed insurrection is a criminal enterprise. Yet, the peaceful transition has occurred. This post does not address ways to engage in meaningful conversations while under…
Divorce in the Time of COVID-19
Yes, Margaret, you can still get divorced in the middle of a global health pandemic. (Reference to Judy Blume’s classic young adult novel, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.) Speaking of God, unless you studied epidemiology or public health, you probably didn’t see this coming. This virus is pulling…
Getting divorced? Now is the time to dream!
A lawyer is trained to solve problems. We look for solutions that meet the interests of our clients. All too often, while we are focused on the destination, the resolution, the “win,” many of us miss the opportunities for healing and growth along the way. We fixate on the outcome…
Continue Reading Getting divorced? Now is the time to dream!
Emotional Intelligence – Finding those Spaces Where You can be Vulnerable in Times of Transition
The other day the words just came out of my mouth. Emotional safety. What did I mean by that phrase, exactly? I meant being in a space where people could be themselves: vulnerable, imperfect, and capable of expressing their emotions without fear of judgment or interruption. That is my definition…
The case for radical honesty: Is a little white lie a bad thing?
Most of us aren’t taught to be honest communicators. When I recently searched “honesty and why it is so hard?” it brought up a bevy of articles on the psychology of lying. Discussions included: why we do it; can we stop?; should we stop?; when is it justified and when…
Continue Reading The case for radical honesty: Is a little white lie a bad thing?
WTF?! This Can’t Be Happening!
Well, by snooping, you kinda asked for it, didn’t you? Deep down, you had a feeling something was going on. Your spouse assured you repeatedly that there was no one else, but he/she has been acting so weird lately, that you just couldn’t shake the suspicion. So, when you had…
Break the Silence. Speak Up Against Domestic Violence.
I’m somewhat attached to my identity as a “pretty tough cookie.” A Jewish girl from Detroit born to fight. That is what I tell myself when I need to be tough. My early experiences with injustice, racism, child abuse, and bullies certainly puts how I ended up a divorce lawyer…
Continue Reading Break the Silence. Speak Up Against Domestic Violence.
Mythbuster – Emotional abuse is not real, or as bad as physical or sexual abuse
Actually, it is. It is just harder to prove than physical or sexual abuse. Emotional abuse is insidious and complex. It is known as “emotional maltreatment,” “psychological battering,” “psychological abuse,” “soul murder,” and has been identified in the psycho-legal literature as “the core issue and most destructive factor across all…
Continue Reading Mythbuster – Emotional abuse is not real, or as bad as physical or sexual abuse
Divorce as a Grieving Process – Part 2: Are You Psychologically Ready to Divorce?
If you have worked through the emotional stages of grief with respect to your divorce, or you are enlightened enough to be able to surrender to what is, then you are ready to start the negotiation process. If your spouse is at the same stage, then you are good to…
Continue Reading Divorce as a Grieving Process – Part 2: Are You Psychologically Ready to Divorce?
Divorce as a Grieving Process – Part 1
As I have said many times before, “divorce is like a death in the family except no one is bringing you food.” Divorce was the first time in my adult life that I was brought to my knees. It hurt so much that I was doubled over in pain. If…
